Maybe he’s got the right idea. Science tells us that having more sex will help us get better sleep and that better sleep leads to better sex. In a recent CNN article aptly titled: Want more sex? Get better sleep. Want better sleep? Have more sex, the author discusses how we as a society are sleep deprived and that not getting enough sleep is affecting our sex lives. Women who are tired appear to be especially affected by lower sex drive. And women over 50 are even more affected; as we age, the quality and duration of our sleep can be negatively impacted. “…The relationship between sleep length and quality with sexual satisfaction remained even after adjusting for other possible causes of sleep deprivation, including depression and chronic disease. This relationship, however, did vary across age groups. Older women, for example, were less likely to be sexually active if they slept fewer than 7 to 8 hours per night compared with younger women.” (ScienceDaily.com)
Younger people are also dealing with issues around sex and sleep. I’ve seen younger clients who are extremely sleep deprived. The demands and pressures of college and busy professional lives often disrupt sleep and make it hard for younger clients to feel refreshed. The aforementioned CNN article noted a study “that looked at sleep and sex in college students [which] found that for those in romantic relationships, every extra hour they slept corresponded to higher sexual desire, greater vaginal lubrication and a 14% increase in the chances of getting frisky the next day.” More and more demands are placed on young people to succeed and be career-driven. Not enough emphasis is placed on the quality and equanimity of life, how we should feel as much as we do. Feeling calm, refreshed, renewed and recharged allows us to experience vitality in the bedroom.
We all know that more doesn’t necessarily mean better, right? Exhaustion and fatigue can play a heavy part and so does the most important sexual organ, the brain. Our mindset around sex is significant. The brain releases several chemicals during sex and orgasms like oxytocin and dopamine that make us feel great and that help us relax. The calm, peace and ease that come after sex help us sleep better. Also, what we eat, how much we move, and our stress levels affect the quality of sex and sleep.
Start by minimizing blue light in the bedroom. Laptops, cell phones, and televisions need to be turned off or even better, not in the room at all. If you are using your cell phone as an alarm clock, consider purchasing a real one. When you wake up, start your day with movement and meditation. Yoga postures (asana) are beneficial, and other forms of movement like walking or biking are also good. Morning meditation sets the tone for the entire day; helps you unwind quicker and easier in the evening and with practice, can help you become calmer and react to stress with less of a charge.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of this series next week!